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Introducing Debbie Berlin (@dsberlin1) Social Worker extraordinaire! I titled this blog with good reason, as I have met many social workers before, but not one who practices what she preaches to this extent of superb amazingness.
Aside from taking care of her clients, Debbie takes care of herself. I am delighted to say that Debbie practices the act of the oxygen mask quite beautifully. We should all learn from her.
How lucky are we that Debbie is also a mentor in the book Get Up, where she answers the question:
WHAT WOULD YOU TELL YOUR TEENAGE SELF?
And it’s a goodie, by golly.
But before we dive into her advice for her younger self, let’s learn a little about Debbie, as there is so much behind her wise words and social work practice.
Here she is! Debbie Berlin – Social Worker Extraordinaire!
Get ready, because I’ve got a long list! I am a mother, partner, daughter, sister, aunt, and friend. A frontline shelter worker, social worker, child, health care advocate, and caregiver. I am also the co-founder of a hospice called Neshama. End-of-life care and mental health are my two top priorities.
Yes; however, I also wanted to be a physician. Just before I completed my Bachelor of Social Work, I received an early acceptance to graduate school for my Masters of Social Work. This led me down the path that I am now on.
My partner Rob Kamen and I both worked in acute care hospitals. We both saw firsthand the many challenges that were faced by families when confronted with a life-limiting illness. After work, we would dream of a hospice where all of the problems that we saw, would be met. In particular, the too-frequent occurrence of people dying in acute care beds in overcrowded intensive care units. Then both of us would say “wouldn’t it be great if…”
Conversations evolved and our discussions expanded to include others. The idea of creating a hospice built on Jewish values began to take hold.
We then were introduced to palliative care physician Dr. Sandy Buchman who sat down with Rob and me to discuss our vision. A hospice that would focus on the whole person. To address not only their physical needs at end of life but their emotional and spiritual needs in equal measure, as informed by the person’s wishes. To reflect this, we named this new initiative Neshama. The Hebrew word for soul, spirit, the essence of the person.
1. Value everyone. Your patients, clients, staff, colleagues, donors, custodians.
2. Humility.
3. Listen and listen some more.
4. Be kind.
5. Keep your ego in check.
6. Lead by example.
7. Take care of your own mental and physical health.
8. Don’t ever think that what happens to others can’t happen to you.
I am an early morning riser, a habit I learned from my parents. The morning is my favourite part of the day and my partner, Rob agrees. Here’s how our days typically go:
5:30 AM. Bring on the coffee with the Globe and Mail and New York Times! Next up, is responding to emails and looking at my work schedule for the day.
6:30 AM I Wake up my daughter and I begin to exercise. That Peloton bike sure saved us from the pandemic! After showering and dressing, I make sure my daughter is getting ready to leave for school.
9:30-6:00 PM Breakfast time! Work with clients from home begins right after. I work throughout the day, but I make sure to allow myself to take breaks. I need to eat lunch, call my mom, read, take care of e-mails, and take short walks outside.
6:15 PM – ish… Rob and I discuss plans for dinner and begin to cook. I check in with Izzie and we spend some time together. For the rest of the evening/night, I write clinical notes for my practice and have a meeting with the Neshama Hospice’s Director of Operations, which is Rob. We discuss fundraising, clinical issues, and board meetings. I then make sure to pop in on Izzie and check out her homework status. A few household tasks need to be done as well as returning calls and emails. I finally wind down for the night at 9:30 pm.
Early to bed, early to rise. Rinse and repeat. I am a firm believer in routines. 🙂
Debbie Berlin – Social Worker Extraordinaire!
Getting my nails done and treating myself to a ’spa’ day are guilty pleasures and elements of self-care. As for exercise, I enjoy walking, hiking, Pilates, Barre, and cycling. I’m always practicing different ways to move my body in ways that energize and protect my 53-year-old self.
I adore music and have a soft spot for classical, particularly Brahms, Mozart, and Bach. I love being surrounded by nature – specifically in Northern Ontario and Palm Springs. My books have always been my friends from a young age and I try and read as much as I can. I am grateful for my trusted friends. I love them fiercely and I would be nowhere without them.
Theodore Roosevelt said “comparison is the thief of joy” and the research agrees. I talk about this specific issue with people in my therapy practice almost every day.
People constantly evaluate their lives. They tear apart their behaviours, relationships, jobs, houses, features, partners, and children. Then typically, an unbelievably self-destructive and dangerous act occurs. The act of comparing themselves to others.
We need to embrace self-compassion and radical acceptance of who we are. The notion of “The Grass is Greener” needs to be challenged.
A good friend of mine taught me the phrase “stay in your lane”. For me, that means: Focus on yourself. Your strengths, your productivity, your wishes, dreams, and desires. And you should be PROUD of them.
Several years ago I was shopping with a friend. As I was purchasing one of my favourite clothing item staples. A black turtleneck. My friend asked me why I would purchase a black turtleneck, as everyone else has one. I responded, “I love black turtlenecks and nobody looks like ME in a black turtleneck”.
Debbie has taken the profession of the social worker beyond the call of duty. Firstly because she practices the utmost care to her clients, her family, and for herself. Secondly, she saw a need for a proper end-of-life care hospice and is making that happen. A generous, determined and motivated woman that is an honour to include in the book Get Up, and to know personally.
Debbie Berlin – Social Worker Extraordinaire!