The scene: Lizzie and Gail, who were once friends, are about to preform their English presentation in front of their grade.

CHAPTER 32

            As I opened my locker to take off my coat and collect my books, Gail and Lisa came up to me, smiling.

“Hi guys,” I said, smiling back.

“Can’t wait to see what you and Gail stirred up,” Lisa said.

“Yeah, we did a pretty good job on Saturday night,” I said looking at Gail.

The three of us walked into class together, and it felt like I was being taken to a spaceship by two aliens.

David and Lisa were paired together, and went first. As I was trying to go over my lines, a text message appeared on my cell phone, and I responded right away.

Gail: Don’t feel like listening. Let’s talk.

My stomach turned upside down.

ME: Why now?

GAIL: You know.

Me: No, I don’t.

Gail: Yes, you do.

Me: Don’t get it. Stop this. Not before we go up.

Gail: Let’s just get it out in the open right now.

Me: Oh come on!

Gail: Let’s have a clear conscience!

Me: What do you think this is, confession?

I shut my cell phone. Our names were called.

At the front of the class, I began to speak:

“Of Mice and Men is a story about two men and their strong bond of friendship, protection, and loyalty for one another.”

“Friendship, protection, and loyalty,” I repeated as I scanned the classroom and found Lisa and Amanda staring at me. My heart began to beat faster, and I felt a droplet of sweat run down my neck.

“A character named Crooks…” I began, but then I trailed off and started to breathe heavily and feel dizzy. Oh no, I thought—another panic attack. Not now. I walked over to my backpack and grabbed my water bottle.

“Are you okay?” my teacher asked as I gulped. I nodded.

Gail took over, but I didn’t pay attention to anything she said. My mind was in a time machine, traveling to a moment from elementary school when Gail and I were watching Gilligan’s Island, then jumping to images of having heart-to-heart talks with Lisa. It jumped to memories of listening to Amanda’s boyfriend woes, of watching them smoke, of feeling completely alone, of eating my lunch on a toilet flusher. All these scenes were spinning around in my head, and I wanted it to stop so I could finish my presentation.

“Wait!” I blurted out.

Gail’s eyes were glaring.

“Why did you spread a rumour that I had sex with Jimmy, and why did you read my diary on the school intercom!”

The whole class started talking. My teacher’s eyes grew larger, but she didn’t say anything.  Everyone was whispering and waiting for my next move.

“You just don’t do that to a person,” I said, “to a friend.”

Gail was shaking.

“Why?”

Gail didn’t answer.

“Do you need your Olsen Twin to help you answer?”

“Amanda liked Jimmy,” Lisa yelled from her desk. “You took him away from her!”

“Hey,” I said. “That’s between me and Amanda.”

“Yeah, Lisa,” Amanda said.

“We can handle this, Amanda!” Lisa yelled.

“No you can’t!” Amanda yelled back.

I looked at Amanda. I was in total shock. So was she.

“I didn’t take your diary,” Gail said.

“Who did?” I barked.

“I did,” said David.

“You?” I asked, completely shocked.

“I’m sorry. It was really cool poetry, and I wanted everyone to hear it.”

“How did you get it?” I asked.

“Went into your room when you weren’t home. Your cleaning lady let me in. I told her I’d forgotten a sweatshirt in your room.”

“I don’t believe this!” I said, raising my hands in the air. “Why did you drag my life through hell? All of you? Do you know how many times I ate my lunch on the fucking toilet?”

“Lizzie Stein! Go to the office, now!” my teacher yelled. I didn’t blame her.

“What you all did was unforgivable,” I continued.

“Lizzie. Go. Now.”

  “You forgave David,” Gail said.

“That is my business, not yours,” I said.

The whole class sat motionless. My teacher pointed her finger towards the door, and I took my books and left.

SAMPLE LESSON

Lesson 2 Braving the Waves of Stress and Anxiety

Excerpt from Book: Page 228 (Lizzie’s English Presentation)

Time: 120 minutes

Materials: Lined paper, pencils, butcher paper, markers, highlighters, rubber bands.

Big Idea: Students will learn about different types of anxiety and the effects it can have on oneself both emotionally and physically.

Learning Goals: By learning about anxiety, students will better understand how to cope with stress and anxiety if they ever experience it in their lives.

Thinking Questions:

1. Skim through the book, what are some of the physical symptoms of anxiety that Lizzie mentions? (e.g. sweaty palms, heart beating faster, confusion, dizziness, lethargy)

2. Is there a pattern in Lizzie’s thinking that you think promotes anxiety? (e.g. self-doubt, frustration over challenges, worrying about what others will think, feeling weird or out of control)

Introduction: Invite students to lay down and get a friend to trace themselves on butcher paper. After the outline of their body is complete, with a marker they should draw a picture to represent what are the physical symptoms in their bodies that they experience when they are feeling anxious (e.g. butterflies in their stomach, headache, heart beating quickly, leg cramps etc…).

After this activity is complete, post the outlines on the wall and invite students to walk around and see the work of others.

This activity will promote awareness of what some of the other physical symptoms may be so students know what to look for in order to identify it in their  own body. This will also help students to feel like they are not alone because everyone experiences anxiety at some point.

Action: Explain to students that anxiety is real and totally normal. It is the bodies way of reacting to fear of danger by creating a “flight or fight” response in the body such as heart beating quickly or wanting to run away. This physical reaction can sometimes occur even when there is no danger in response to fears or worries and this is what is called “anxiety”. The fear could be related to a anything that makes your worry (e.g social situation, an academic situation or trying something new).

Have students make a list of as many worries or fears that they have by writing them down on a piece of paper. Students should also write down beside the worry the thinking questions that goes along with the worry.

e.g. Failing – What if I fail the test? Not fitting in – What if no one likes me?

I’m not smart enough.

After the list is complete, they should go back to their list and highlight the top 3 worries/fears that they experience most often. One way to develop resiliency when experiencing anxiety is by challenging these fears to see if they are really true or not. Right beside the thought, students should ask the question, is this really likely to happen by writing true or false beside each fear. If so, what is the worst that will happen to me? By examining the answers to these questions, it makes the thinking of them not feel so intense. Therefore when kids start to have this thought pattern they will understand this thinking as a symptom of anxiety and not fact.

As a final activity for this lesson, ask students to wear an elastic band on their wrist for a week. They should try to catch themselves in these “thinking traps” so that they become aware of how often these thoughts occur and where they are most likely to happen/what times of the day.

Is there a specific class they feel most anxious in? Every time they recognize themselves having an anxious thought they should snap the rubber band on their wrist to remind them that this is just an anxious thought and not reality.

At the end of the week, move on to the reflection questions so that students can debrief their experience wearing the rubber band.

Reflection:

1. Was there a particular thought that you noticed would re-occur throughout the week?
2. Did you learn anything new about yourself ?
3. Picture yourself without these anxious thoughts what would it feel like? Is their anything different that you could do?
4. What would someone you trust say to you about any of the thoughts/fears that you have?
5. What advice would you give to a friend if they had the same thoughts/feelings?

The Program

It’s the book everybody’s talking about!

Me and My So-Called Friends

What the book is about:

When you are left alone without any friends, it’s like nothing else matters.

15-year-old Lizzie is home from camp and life just got a little too much to handle! Lizzie realizes that her three best friends don’t seem like the friends she used to know, her math class makes her stomach turned into the perfect knot and, one night at a party, Lizzie meets the guy of her dreams but ends up being ridiculed by her so-called friends, and they won’t let her get away with what she has done—and to whom. How far will Lizzie’s so-called friends go to punish her? How much can she take? Who will show up during all of this turmoil to help her get back on her feet?

And Then This Happened:

After Me and My So-Called Friends was published in 2015 and Sharon visited several middle school classrooms in Toronto and received tremendous feedback due to the humorous and relatable story line. The need to bring the novel into the classroom was a natural fit and therefore, a teacher’s manual called Brave the Waves was born.

Brave The Waves – A Program for Building Resiliency is the result of a collaboration between Sharon Neiss-Arbess, social workers and psychologists and was formally written by Ms. Deborah Rogers, B.Ed, M.A, It is targeted towards middle school children, in grades 6 to 8.

Why Brave The Waves?

The world we live in can be incredibly challenging, competitive and lonely and yet, it can also be exciting, fun and wonderful. Kind of sounds like the way a body of water naturally moves right? Ah, the life of a teenager! Assistance to help manage these waves of their lives should be fun with “a hands on” experience and that is what Brave The Waves promises to deliver.

What is so good about it:

The manual complements Ontario’s Open Minds, Healthy Minds program, covers several Ontario Curriculum requirements and is extremely user-friendly for teachers and camp staff because each lesson presents excerpts and activities that address the most complex challenges that teens and middle schools are facing today: bullying and mental health.

There are ten lessons in the manual and the topics include Effective Communication, Stress and Anxiety, Healthy Eating, Facing Challenges, Building Positive Relationships, Changing our Thinking, Belonging, Social Media, Making Good Decisions and Building Resiliency.

Here is an example of lesson number two that deals with Stress and Anxiety:

SAMPLE LESSON

The scene: Lizzie and Gail, who were once friends, are about to preform their English presentation in front of their grade.

CHAPTER 32

            As I opened my locker to take off my coat and collect my books, Gail and Lisa came up to me, smiling.

“Hi guys,” I said, smiling back.

“Can’t wait to see what you and Gail stirred up,” Lisa said.

“Yeah, we did a pretty good job on Saturday night,” I said looking at Gail.

The three of us walked into class together, and it felt like I was being taken to a spaceship by two aliens.

David and Lisa were paired together, and went first. As I was trying to go over my lines, a text message appeared on my cell phone, and I responded right away.

Gail: Don’t feel like listening. Let’s talk.

My stomach turned upside down.

ME: Why now?

GAIL: You know.

Me: No, I don’t.

Gail: Yes, you do.

Me: Don’t get it. Stop this. Not before we go up.

Gail: Let’s just get it out in the open right now.

Me: Oh come on!

Gail: Let’s have a clear conscience!

Me: What do you think this is, confession?

I shut my cell phone. Our names were called.

At the front of the class, I began to speak:

“Of Mice and Men is a story about two men and their strong bond of friendship, protection, and loyalty for one another.”

“Friendship, protection, and loyalty,” I repeated as I scanned the classroom and found Lisa and Amanda staring at me. My heart began to beat faster, and I felt a droplet of sweat run down my neck.

“A character named Crooks…” I began, but then I trailed off and started to breathe heavily and feel dizzy. Oh no, I thought—another panic attack. Not now. I walked over to my backpack and grabbed my water bottle.

“Are you okay?” my teacher asked as I gulped. I nodded.

Gail took over, but I didn’t pay attention to anything she said. My mind was in a time machine, traveling to a moment from elementary school when Gail and I were watching Gilligan’s Island, then jumping to images of having heart-to-heart talks with Lisa. It jumped to memories of listening to Amanda’s boyfriend woes, of watching them smoke, of feeling completely alone, of eating my lunch on a toilet flusher. All these scenes were spinning around in my head, and I wanted it to stop so I could finish my presentation.

“Wait!” I blurted out.

Gail’s eyes were glaring.

“Why did you spread a rumour that I had sex with Jimmy, and why did you read my diary on the school intercom!”

The whole class started talking. My teacher’s eyes grew larger, but she didn’t say anything.  Everyone was whispering and waiting for my next move.

“You just don’t do that to a person,” I said, “to a friend.”

Gail was shaking.

“Why?”

Gail didn’t answer.

“Do you need your Olsen Twin to help you answer?”

“Amanda liked Jimmy,” Lisa yelled from her desk. “You took him away from her!”

“Hey,” I said. “That’s between me and Amanda.”

“Yeah, Lisa,” Amanda said.

“We can handle this, Amanda!” Lisa yelled.

“No you can’t!” Amanda yelled back.

I looked at Amanda. I was in total shock. So was she.

“I didn’t take your diary,” Gail said.

“Who did?” I barked.

“I did,” said David.

“You?” I asked, completely shocked.

“I’m sorry. It was really cool poetry, and I wanted everyone to hear it.”

“How did you get it?” I asked.

“Went into your room when you weren’t home. Your cleaning lady let me in. I told her I’d forgotten a sweatshirt in your room.”

“I don’t believe this!” I said, raising my hands in the air. “Why did you drag my life through hell? All of you? Do you know how many times I ate my lunch on the fucking toilet?”

“Lizzie Stein! Go to the office, now!” my teacher yelled. I didn’t blame her.

“What you all did was unforgivable,” I continued.

“Lizzie. Go. Now.”

  “You forgave David,” Gail said.

“That is my business, not yours,” I said.

The whole class sat motionless. My teacher pointed her finger towards the door, and I took my books and left.

SAMPLE LESSON

Lesson 2 Braving the Waves of Stress and Anxiety

Excerpt from Book: Page 228 (Lizzie’s English Presentation)

Time: 120 minutes

Materials: Lined paper, pencils, butcher paper, markers, highlighters, rubber bands.

Big Idea: Students will learn about different types of anxiety and the effects it can have on oneself both emotionally and physically.

Learning Goals: By learning about anxiety, students will better understand how to cope with stress and anxiety if they ever experience it in their lives.

Thinking Questions:

1. Skim through the book, what are some of the physical symptoms of anxiety that Lizzie mentions? (e.g. sweaty palms, heart beating faster, confusion, dizziness, lethargy)

2. Is there a pattern in Lizzie’s thinking that you think promotes anxiety? (e.g. self-doubt, frustration over challenges, worrying about what others will think, feeling weird or out of control)

Introduction: Invite students to lay down and get a friend to trace themselves on butcher paper. After the outline of their body is complete, with a marker they should draw a picture to represent what are the physical symptoms in their bodies that they experience when they are feeling anxious (e.g. butterflies in their stomach, headache, heart beating quickly, leg cramps etc…).

After this activity is complete, post the outlines on the wall and invite students to walk around and see the work of others.

This activity will promote awareness of what some of the other physical symptoms may be so students know what to look for in order to identify it in their  own body. This will also help students to feel like they are not alone because everyone experiences anxiety at some point.

Action: Explain to students that anxiety is real and totally normal. It is the bodies way of reacting to fear of danger by creating a “flight or fight” response in the body such as heart beating quickly or wanting to run away. This physical reaction can sometimes occur even when there is no danger in response to fears or worries and this is what is called “anxiety”. The fear could be related to a anything that makes your worry (e.g social situation, an academic situation or trying something new).

Have students make a list of as many worries or fears that they have by writing them down on a piece of paper. Students should also write down beside the worry the thinking questions that goes along with the worry.

e.g. Failing – What if I fail the test? Not fitting in – What if no one likes me?

I’m not smart enough.

After the list is complete, they should go back to their list and highlight the top 3 worries/fears that they experience most often. One way to develop resiliency when experiencing anxiety is by challenging these fears to see if they are really true or not. Right beside the thought, students should ask the question, is this really likely to happen by writing true or false beside each fear. If so, what is the worst that will happen to me? By examining the answers to these questions, it makes the thinking of them not feel so intense. Therefore when kids start to have this thought pattern they will understand this thinking as a symptom of anxiety and not fact.

As a final activity for this lesson, ask students to wear an elastic band on their wrist for a week. They should try to catch themselves in these “thinking traps” so that they become aware of how often these thoughts occur and where they are most likely to happen/what times of the day.

Is there a specific class they feel most anxious in? Every time they recognize themselves having an anxious thought they should snap the rubber band on their wrist to remind them that this is just an anxious thought and not reality.

At the end of the week, move on to the reflection questions so that students can debrief their experience wearing the rubber band.

Reflection:

1. Was there a particular thought that you noticed would re-occur throughout the week?
2. Did you learn anything new about yourself ?
3. Picture yourself without these anxious thoughts what would it feel like? Is their anything different that you could do?
4. What would someone you trust say to you about any of the thoughts/fears that you have?
5. What advice would you give to a friend if they had the same thoughts/feelings?