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My sensational surrender came out of left field – which is to be expected, because who plans life’s hiccups anyway?
What surfaced was just what I needed. I just didn’t know it, yet.
It started with a tickly throat – then came the fatigue and the aches and pains. I dashed to the stash of COVID tests in my panty. Yes – I’m one of those. And did the swab dance in my nostrils. Low and behold – I haven’t seen those two lines appear on that famous white plastic tray since early 2021.
With vigour, I flew to my bedroom and crashed in my bed. Yes, I am one of those who can’t “shake it off” or say the well known cliché “I’ll sleep when I’m dead”. When I’m sick – I’m sick. Everything on my calendar is postponed until further notice. Buzz off and good-bye.
I didn’t have the energy to even scroll or binge-watch. Can you imagine that?
On a side note, the act of surrendering came into fruition a few years back, when I wrote about it here, where I learned how liberating it is to let go. And my, it does feel wonderful.
Anywhoo.. during this hibernation, I did manage to sleep and intake a record-breaking amount of chicken broth and tea. I am so grateful for friends who checked in on me and dropped off homemade lentil soup. Family members who refilled my mug and did the weekly grocery shop, too.
I will spare you the details, but there was fever. Chills. Some serious nose honking into tissues. Don’t forget the endless staring at my ceiling – asking the universe when it will end.
Yes, I was used to shutting off the world and resting when ill, but is that all there is? Little did I know that I would soon be embracing this situation to my advantage – my sensational surrender!
Embracing is the act that I decided to do.
After the fever subsided and I welcomed back my appetite with my stomach beginning to growl again – oh how I missed that feeling – I began to read. And watch, as I don’t believe that writers only read. Great dialogue can be found on the screen. There are times that I am so moved my the script – that I pause what I’m watching to write it down.
I slowed down and paid attention, and really observed. I asked my self questions. Why was this character so magnetic? Why was I hooked on to this story? What made me yawn and skip this paragraph?
The term surrendering has a new meaning for me. It goes well beyond waving the white flag and throwing my hands up in the air. It’s about stopping all activity but observing what is around me and taking the time to focus.
Before I got COVID – again – I thought I was being productive, and I was. But now that I was forced to slow down and pay attention, what I am putting out to the world, has an extra layer of appreciation that is filled with such goodness.
As day five of isolation has approached, I take to my laptop again with a whole new appreciation and perspective.
I can’t wait to see what I will produce.