The Caring Coach

Introducing the caring coach – Debra Basch (@coach_debra_Basch), who wears her heart on her sleeve, yet has been known to push her clients until they cry. And yes, this is a good thing.

But before I begin, why do people hire a coach?

In most cases, it’s because you want to reach a goal but can’t do it alone. You need some help. Some accountability.

Coaching can come in many forms to reach a variety of goals. I’m no stranger to life coaches, as I’ve hired and interviewed one here and here.

Debra Basch – who I like to call the caring coach, has been in my fitness and lifestyle “ring” for several years, and I can tell you from experience that her type of guidance was exactly what I needed.

Straight to the point – call me on my Bull- %$#& tough love. If I needed comforting, gentle encouragement, I would ask my mother. This was not the case, so I asked Debra. I even wrote all about it here.

And yes, she has made me cry on a few occasions, but only because I deserved it, which resulted in a great deal of growth, that I wouldn’t trade for the world.

So when it came down to choosing mentors for my book Get Up, I had to ask Debra to contribute by asking the question:

WHAT WOULD YOU TELL YOUR TEENAGE SELF?

And as usual, she gave it to me straight – just the way I like it, and I am sure, just the way a reader of Get Up would like it, too.

And, of course, I had to dive deeper into the caring coach’s mind, who cares so much about her family, her partner, and her clients, with wisdom to share that I am grateful to learn from.

Sit down, and relax. Grab a beverage. This interview may be long, but it’s worth every word.

Who is Debra Basch?

She is loyal, fiercely independent, empathetic, and highly structured. A mother of two fabulous young women. Protector of anyone who is in her inner circle.

Outside of work, she an introvert. Preferring her own company to large gatherings. Going out for dinner is a chore, but brunch is special! 

She is an obsessive cleaner (learned as a child to deal with anxiety), but if she’s looking at a 15-hour day of client check-ins, all that goes out the window!

Lastly, Debra is extremely curious and loves setting goals for herself. 

Please share your path to becoming a Lifestyle Coach.

My fitness journey began as an elite athlete, followed by working as a gymnastics coach and fitness instructor. I have business and nutrition degrees with over 100 certifications in fitness. I am also a medical exercise specialist qualified to work with people with artificial joints. In addition, I am a Lifestyle Coach by the Canadian Coaching Federation. I am also certified in pre/post-natal training, hormone regulation, and metabolic disorders.

For 15 years, I was also a post-secondary professor where I taught Fitness and Health Promotion. I resigned from this position in the summer of 2021.

Being a much sought-after personal trainer/nutritionist for 35 years, I cultivated a strong client base while building a reputation for results with an uncompromising approach. I taught various classes from TRX to Spinning that were very well received by my clients. Unfortunately, the lockdown happened due to the pandemic, and I lost 85% of my business.

In March 2020, I was approached to work for LadytheFup, (@ladyTheF^ckUp), an online fitness coaching company. They specialize in body transformations, muscle-building, fat loss, and hormone regulation for women. I jumped at the chance to be a part of this dynamic team.

What are the biggest lessons you have learned from being a coach?

1. People lie and will ghost you. I naively thought that if they paid for coaching and wanted to improve, they would naturally be honest and work hard. Everyone has their journey. Failure is only failure if they don’t come back. If they keep coming back, we have something to work with.
2. People lie out of fear. I have now started telling my clients to tell me what is going on. There is zero judgment on my part. I need to know so that I can help them.
3. Clients are not lazy but are victims of their habits and poor mindsets. I can quickly get to the root of their problem and find out why they are not getting results.
4. Not everyone wants to look impressive, shredded, and hot, but all want to feel better physically, emotionally, and mentally.
5. It takes zero skill to listen. I listen for specific words to help me distinguish if this is just a vent or an ask for help.
6. Not everyone will show you the same respect you show them. All of my gym clients always said thank you and were pleasant. Online coaching allows some keyboard warriors to surface!
7. I have made some solid connections with the women I coach online. They have driven hours to meet me for a training session. The challenges that some of these women have faced have been remarkable. Recuperating from cancer, a hip replacement, and hormone disruption. Some have even gotten pregnant after learning to care for their bodies properly.

Have you ever decided to stop working with a client? If so, why?

I have stopped working with clients many times for many different reasons. Usually, it’s because it’s not a good personality fit for both coach and client.

The problem is easily solved by working with a different coach. Coaching can be very intimate, and connection and trust are essential, but it’s about something other than building a friendship.  Coaching is providing unbiased guidance for continued results. You have to trust your coach.

Why can’t people reach their fitness goals?

Three reasons: Lack of patience, consistency, and self-awareness.

Lack of patience: If you are in your 40’s, overweight or obese, and exercise was not something you have been doing or have even done, you cannot expect to see great results in 4, 8, 26, or maybe even 52 weeks! People don’t realize that all the years of dieting, restricting, and/or doing hours of cardio have destroyed their muscle mass. It has slowed down their metabolism.

Every time a person attempts a new diet, the body remembers this and will push back as being resistant. Many (even obese clients) need a reverse diet, build some muscle and THEN go on a cut to lose fat. I will tell them that if they are looking for a quick fix, they can do our insanely hard 60-day challenge and then a reverse diet, buckle down, forget about a timeline, and focus on consistency.

Lack of consistency and self-awareness: You have to remain consistent. If you need to work out four times this week and only manage two sessions, and this is your pattern – don’t expect results.

Another reason is that a client may need to be more invested in the results, not the process. Suppose they ask for their food to be dropped or their cardio increased. If we are in week four and they still behave like that, my “BE COMMITTED TO THE PROCESS” lecture comes out in full force.

Let’s unpack your quote!

“Always respect yourself and know your worth. There will be situations that will test and try. You and your self-esteem may take a hit – do not allow life’s hiccups to define you. Be patient and kind with yourself as you would with anyone you love, respect, and trust.”

I did not grow up in a loving, stable, and safe home. It was quite the opposite. I was in foster care, lived with various relatives, and craved stability and acceptance.

I equated my sad childhood to my perceived inadequacies. This is quite common among children of abuse. We see everything as our fault. I then began to work on myself professionally (through therapists) and personally. Instead of feeling like a victim, I figured out what I needed to do to succeed and worked harder to improve.  I  have been blessed with grit and determination.

Once I saw that I was capable, genuinely loved, and liked for who I was, I started being kinder to myself and showed myself grace and empathy when required. I stopped negative internal thoughts and congratulated myself when I accomplished my goals.

It takes a strong-willed, yet caring person to help someone reach their goal, as difficult as it may be. For the job of a lifestyle coach – there is no one better than the caring coach Debra Basch, who calls it like it is, yet will hand you a tissue when you need it. 😉

Thank you, Debra, for sharing your words of wisdom with the readers of Get Up.